We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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