problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
