They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
