I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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