wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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