"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
