Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
