her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
