i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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