I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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