is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
