too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
