just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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