Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
