My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
