I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
