I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
