i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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