So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
