As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
