I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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