So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
