I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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