He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize