Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
