Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
