if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
