you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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