Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
