The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
