I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
