i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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