: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
