please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I understand Curling. That high.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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