i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
