Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
