Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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