in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
