remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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