If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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