you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They have beer where we have blood.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
