you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
