was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
