Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
