sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
