he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
