I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
