Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
