She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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