You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
